


the perception of two beating hearts

by Meridas



Series: you are my sunshine [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Established Relationship, Mighty Nein as Family, Other, Secret Relationship, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21575437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meridas/pseuds/Meridas
Summary: Five members of the Mighty Nein who figured out that Molly and Caleb are soulmates, and one who needed to have it pointed out.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett & Caleb Widogast, Mollymauk Tealeaf & Yasha, Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast, Nott & Caleb Widogast
Series: you are my sunshine [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1248596
Comments: 36
Kudos: 489





	the perception of two beating hearts

**Author's Note:**

> Well at some point I had to write a 5 + 1 fic, isn't that just like the thing to do? This jumps off of something that was mentioned in _my only sunshine_ , so it will probably make more sense if you've read that, but you can certainly enjoy it just as well without!

* * *

_Yasha_

* * *

As long as Yasha has known him, Molly’s never bothered trying to hide anything from her. Most people are confusing to her, but Molly is an open book. So it’s very obvious that something unusual has happened as the two of them leave the Nestled Nook. Molly has a new energy about him, something different from the usual pre-show excitement or his energetic showmanship. 

“You okay?” she asks, just to be safe. Molly is much better at picking up people’s energy than she is. If he’s nervous about the show or any of the people they just met, she’d best be prepared. 

But the look her turns on her is very far from anxious. He looks _excited_ , he looks _happy_ in a way that lights him up from the inside. She’s seen this look on him before, when he finds new things that are beautiful in the world. He lit up like this when she woke him up in the middle of the night to see shooting stars. 

“I’m great,” he says, and he’s a little more breathless than the walk should have him. His eyes are wide, and his tail wiggles as if it just has to channel his restless joyful energy into _something_. “I’m—I don’t know. _Something_ happened, I think? I felt… I feel different? But good! It’s a really good thing. I just don’t know where it came from.”

He bumps into her side, and she drapes her arm across his shoulders as they walk in step. “I feel like it’s going to be a good night,” Molly says. “I dunno… I can’t describe it. I feel kinda light? But not like drunk, not dizzy, just… I have no idea.” He giggles, then, and that sound never fails to make her smile. 

“Well I trust it’s a good thing,” she says. She gives him a little squeeze. “But let me know if it changes, okay? I like seeing you happy.” 

He wraps his arm around her waist, leaning more of his weight on her. If she weren’t so much stronger than him, he’d be steering them way off-course. But Yasha’s well-accustomed to both Molly’s lithe weight and his antics, too, and she smiles as she just keeps them walking in a straight line. 

“I’m very happy,” Molly promises her. “I’ve got my charm, I’ve got a good feeling about tonight! I’ve got everything I could need to be happy about.”

As long as he’s happy, she lets the odd occurrence slip out of her mind. 

It happens again when she finds him in Zadash. Yasha knows that she misses out on things when she leaves on her duties to the Storm Lord, but she doesn’t usually mind very much. If she misses important things, Molly always tells her. 

This time is no exception. It takes Molly about ten seconds once they hit the bar to drag her away from the group and turn to her with a wide grin. 

“Yasha,” he says, tail _thwipping_ excitedly through the air, “did you know that soulmates really are a thing?” 

Of all the things in the world, that’s certainly not what she expected to hear from him. “I… did,” she answers. “I thought you—” but no, of course Molly wouldn’t know that, wouldn’t credit it as more than fanciful fairy tales from old ballads. No one in the circus had a soulmate, after all, why should he? “Yes, I know about soulmates.” And _then_ it actually clicks, what he must be saying with that bright smile and excited flush high on his cheeks. “Oh, _Molly._ Do you have a soulmate?”

He links his arm with hers and leans against her, humming. She bumps her cheek into his horn, and gives him a little smile when he grins up at her. “Seems like I do,” he says. His hand brushes across his chest, a brief pass just over his heart. 

She casts her memory back briefly, to a time she saw a small change in Molly. She hadn’t thought it would be nearly as momentous as finding the other half of his beating heart. “This is the thing you couldn’t describe in Trostenwald, isn’t it?” she guesses. She resists the urge to turn and look at all of their companions, the gauge the Mighty Nein with an appraiser’s eye. Instead she thinks about the day she’s spent with them, about the direction Molly’s eyes have wandered and the softening pitch of his voice around them. “And what does Caleb think about it?”

Molly snorts and bumps his shoulder against hers. But there’s a soft look in his eyes, something new and vulnerable in his smile that makes her heart ache just a little. “He’s—we’ll see,” Molly says, and she feels his tail wrap around her knee and squeeze excitedly. The little smile blooming on his face says everything she needs to hear. “It’s… new. We’ll see. I’ll let you know.”

Yasha kisses the top of his head. “I’m happy you found him, Molly,” she says. “I hope he’s good to you. You deserve to be happy.”

“I am happy,” Molly declares, and gives her another squeeze. “I’ve got my charm.”

* * *

_Caduceus Clay_

* * *

“Do you have any ability to bring back the dead?” the scruffy man asks him before anything else, almost before introductions are done. There’s something in his voice that goes beyond urgency and beyond desperation. It’s enough to give Caduceus pause, an inkling that this man doesn’t need to hear the usual words about grief, the natural cycle, the way of the world. Death is the most natural thing in the world, and most of the time people come to the family graveyard needing to understand that. 

But this man looks different. The look in his eyes and the quake in his voice says that he’s already shattered in a way no one is supposed to break. Where there should be a natural balance to this man, there’s just an absence. Something fundamental is missing from him, something no comforting words or willing ear or even passage of time will ease. 

As he considers his answer to Caleb Widogast, he thinks of two graves deep in the grove, placed side-by-side on the same day. Every year, bleeding hearts grow thick and intertwined over those plots. It’s a lovely spot. Before his time, but his father says there are soulmates buried there. 

Caduceus looks at Caleb Widogast and sees a man burning from the inside. He is still his own soul; a thing like that will never change. But he is missing a vital balance, and Caduceus has helped a lot of grieving folks but he has never had to tell the tides that he cannot give them back the moons. 

It’s probably not something he can fix with tea.

* * *

_Beau_

* * *

By the time the penny drops, Beau could kick herself for not realizing sooner. She feels like it makes her a bad friend, and she's been trying to get better at that. So why has it taken her this long to see that Caleb is drowning?

She remembers watching Caleb put himself between Clay and the grave back on Glory Run Road, uncharacteristically bold. Even back then she'd been surprised, but she hadn't said anything. Too wrapped up in herself, stewing in her own pain and regret. She wonders if she could have helped Caleb at all, if there's anything she can do now that she knows that Caleb's been missing more than a friend or a possibility, he's missing something that most stories say a person can't live without. 

She looks over at Caleb. He's deep in the bottle she brought over now, but she's not gonna be the one to cut him off tonight. Not when she's dredged this conversation out of him and rubbed salt in the open wound that Molly still is. Not when she can see his hand clasped around the periapt that she handed him from… fuck, from his soulmate's body. Shit. 

She wonders what it's like, to have a soulmate. To feel your heartbeat in someone else's chest, and know that you're something special and irreplaceable to them. 

Looking at Caleb now, without his secret or his walls, she silently hopes that she doesn't have one out there. Having someone that special doesn't come with the guarantee of keeping them.

* * *

_Nott_

* * *

Nott knows she isn’t the most observant person out there. There are things she misses, whether it’s because she’s been drinking a bit much or she’s got caught up talking with Jester or just because she’s grown tired of the sound of Fjord’s voice and stops listening to him. But when it comes to Caleb, she thought she had things on lock. Sure, he has his secrets, but they’re doing much better at getting past those every since their real names came out. She thought that maybe that was the last of the big secrets that were hanging over their heads. 

But she’s a detective, and she’s certainly good at overhearing things, even if it’s by accident. So when she hears raised voices from Molly’s room, she freezes right before she knocks. Jester and Beau both freeze as well, and before Nott can even ask what they should do she hears _Caleb’s voice_ and it’s—

“—have no idea what it was like, Molly, what it’s like to lose your soulmate. And I—” 

Nott realizes afterwards that she’s the one who shrieked and blew their cover. But her ears are just ringing with Caleb’s words, first with _soulmate_ and then, with a sickening drop in her stomach, _lose_. And she didn’t know. 

So it turns out that Caleb has a _soulmate._ It turns out that he knew for _months_ and didn’t tell her, not ever… not even when his soulmate died. 

Her boy was in so much pain and he never told her a word of it. He buried it so deep and hid it from her, even through everything they went through together, and she…

Nott tells herself she can’t be jealous. She can’t be selfish of this secret of Caleb’s. She hid her own pain and her own goals, after all, she shouldn’t begrudge him this. The important thing is that he’s okay now, she tells herself. That’s what’s important. 

Nott may not be the best out there are putting the pieces together, but she’s not an idiot. She watches _Molly_ put his hand over Caleb’s heart, _Molly_ speaking to her boy in a low and calming voice. She sees the way Caleb catches Molly’s hand as he starts to leave, and her trained eye definitely catches the shiny gleam of a gold necklace chain left in Molly’s grasp as they part. And she can see the lingering hurt and hesitation left in Caleb’s eyes when it’s just the two of them, just the original _team Caleb-and-Nott_ left in the room.

So her boy has a soulmate. He didn’t tell her. But that’s alright. At least, it is now.

“And you’re _sure_ it’s Mollymauk?” she says skeptically, and she gets a little smile out of him just like she hoped. 

Caleb shakes a little bit when she hugs him, but they’re a team that’s come through worse than this. She just wants to make sure he’s happy, even if he has questionable taste in romantic partners. 

And, if there’s a little part of her that is relieved beyond belief that Caleb’s magic is stable again, she can keep that part to herself. She weaves flowers into his hair again, and lets their little duo settle back into balance with one less secret on their shoulders.

* * *

_Jester_

* * *

Jester can hardly contain her excitement as Molly ushers her downstairs. "I'm so excited for you Molly oh my gosh," she squeals. She waves her hands excitedly, unable to channel all of her happy energy in one fell swoop. "You're _back_ and you have a _soulmate_ and it's so wonderful and romantic and I'm so glad that you're _happy_ , Molly—" 

He laughs with her and loops his tail around hers easy as anything, and for a moment she can just grin at him and hardly breathe because she's so _happy_. Finally something has turned out good. She stayed up super late last night thanking the Traveler over and over because he let her _finally_ fix her failure. She's the best cleric because she prayed so hard and she's a good friend and she got Molly _back_ for them. She's spent so long wishing for a way she could help him. It's the best news in the world that the Traveler thinks she's good enough to give her a little boost and give him back to all of them. She knows that he likes Molly too, and she can't wait to fill up new pages of her sketchbook with fun doodles of everything she and Molly can get up to now. 

Oh gods, she can doodle so much of Caleb and Molly _kissing_ now. And she can leave them out where they can _see_ so that Caleb will turn super red but maybe he'll smile, and Molly will laugh and compliment her drawing skills and maybe he'll even add some little doodles of his own, or some little notes for her in pretty bad handwriting in Infernal that she can laugh at later. She can't wait.

"Come on," she decides, tugging him towards the door. "I have so many questions, and you always said there's nothing like being naked it hot water to make it easy to talk to people! And I haven't had a nice bath in such a long time and I would really love for someone to clean my dress, too, so let's go there and we can talk!"

Molly laughs again, light and happy and ready to be enthusiastic with her. "Sounds fun," he says. "You're buying this time, I've got nothing but simple bar wages to my name while you've been out earning all kinds of coin." He grins at her, sharp and delighted. "Don't tell Beau yet, but she's going to pick up my bar tab and let me tell you, it's very impressive."

Jester grins and puts her finger over her lips. "I won't tell a soul," she swears, and she twines her tail further with Molly's as she leads them out the door. 

She does have a million questions for Molly, but she knows which one she wants to start with. When they settle into the nice hot water of the baths, she even manages to give him ten whole seconds to relax in the water before broaching the subject.

“Are you happy, Molly?” she asks softly. "Like… does Caleb make you happy? And you're okay, now that you're back, you're happy right and you're not angry with me—" oh, shit "—or, I mean, with us because we got caught and you—and we couldn't—" 

"Where is all this coming from?" Molly gently cuts her off. His tail swishes calmly back and forth in the water. "Now Jester, dear, I hope you're not doing anything incredibly silly like blaming yourself for what I got into."

She manages a little giggle. "I'm always silly, though," she says, but damn it she can tell that the curve of Molly's smile is just indulgent. He doesn't believe her, but Molly has always been happy to buy and sell bullshit in equal measures. He reaches out and pats her hair, dripping water on her face as he does. 

"I am happy, Jester," he says simply. "I'm very happy to see you all again, and I'll be even happier once we all get on the road again." He smiles. "Now go ahead, ask away."

* * *

_+Fjord_

* * *

It’s good to see the team getting along again and settling back into their new-old normal. They’ve all grown quite a bit since they lost Molly all those months ago, as people and as friends. Caleb might the most surprising, although Fjord knows how far he’s come in the last couple of months. He wouldn’t have expected him to warm back up to anyone quite so quickly, but it’s actually really nice to see how easily he and Molly fall into being friends this time around. 

Whenever they settle in for the evening these days, the familiar sight of Caleb sitting with his book comes with Molly lingering close by to play with Frumpkin, the two of them content to bump shoulders and trade a few words and smiles now and then. 

Molly’s still that easygoing kind of guy who likes casual touch, too, so perhaps it isn’t surprising to see Caleb accept more friendly half-hugs and those quick kisses to the forehead that Molly’s so fond of doling out. Fjord’s even noticed that Caleb tends to reach for Molly first when he sends his sight and hearing out through Frumpkin. Molly’s good at keeping track of Caleb, after all, and good at defending him if anything does happen to jump out. These days it’s not unusual to see them walking along with Molly’s tail looped around Caleb’s wrist as they go, presumably just in case Caleb wants to look around through his familiar. 

They’ve settled in for a week or so of downtime with Marion, so that Jester can see her mom and they can all catch their breath a little bit. Molly’s been out all day with Beau, seeing as getting tattoos is now something they do together once in a while. Molly’s been slowly working on a big piece that spreads across his chest, and Beau’s as likely as not to come back with a new piercing if Molly goads her into it. They’ve got a weird buddy system going on these days, but it seems to work for them. 

Sure enough, those two come back to Marion’s place as the sun is setting, the sounds of jibing and laughing preceding them. Molly swings the door open as dramatically as ever, swanning in with a bunch of flowers in his hands. Beau rolls her eyes at him as he darts around the room, greeting everyone with a single flower. Fjord gets some kind of yellow one handed to him with a pat on the shoulder; he’s not sure what to do with it, but he’s not gonna turn Molly down over something harmless. He’ll give his to Jester later, maybe. 

Yasha gets a kiss on the cheek with her flower, Jester gets a friendly little tap on the horns; Molly hands Nott’s over like it’s an exchange with weapons drawn, for some reason, but Nott’s grinning when she finally has her prize. Caleb comes last, and he accepts his flower and a kiss on the forehead with an indulgent look.

“How does it look?” he asks, gesturing at the tattoo they can all see a part of—nothing so much _peeks_ through the cut of Molly’s shirts so much as _flaunts._ Molly pulls his shirt open even further, showing off the new additions to the flowers and stars weaving along beneath his collarbones. Fjord has no idea if any of them mean anything other than Molly liked the look of them, but they do look nice. 

The big scar is still visible, and Caleb’s expression falls a little. He school it pretty quickly, complimenting Molly’s new ink. It’s still a sore subject for most of them, even though it’s been several months now since Molly came back. Fjord looks away politely, catching Jester’s eye across the room. Rather than looking upset at the reminder, though, she’s looking a little… cheeky. She raises her eyebrows at him like there’s some inside joke he should be responding with. If this is one of her “unspoken agreements,” then Fjord has no idea what she’s looking for. 

“Enough about Molly, look what I got,” Beau shoulders her way into the conversation, thankfully removing the little bit of melancholy that might’ve otherwise settled over them. Fjord does his due diligence in complimenting the new, bright blue stud at the top of her ear, and the next time he glances over at Molly he’s sitting on the arm of Caleb’s chair, both of them looking as relaxed as can be.

With everything they’ve gone through, from Caleb and Nott’s rocky start with the group to all the time Molly was lost to them, it’s nice to see everyone in their little family getting along.

* * *

_bonus_ :

* * *

Returning to the Blooming Grove is often its own kind of strange, with all the memories of their first time here. It's better now, with Molly at his side and a friend waiting for them. As he comes out to greet them, Caduceus's deep eyes roam over their group and land on Caleb. He looks him slowly up and down, and for the first time Caleb does not feel the need to turn away and hide from his perceptive gaze. With his friends safe and surrounding him, with Molly's tail looped casually around his wrist, he can actually hold Caduceus's eyes when they meet his. 

The cleric's little smile broadens into a pleased grin. “Oh, that's nice to see. You got your soulmate back. That's very good, I'm sure you've been doing much better now.”

“I am,” Caleb says, and starts to say more but there's a loud sputtering noise from his left. 

He glances over. Fjord points at them both accusingly. Molly covers his mouth with one hand, doing a poor job of covering up his growing smile.

“Soulmates?” he echoes incredulously. “ _Soulmates?_ Really, Caleb, _Molly_ , neither of you thought this was a good thing to mention to us—”

Fjord looks around at the rest of the group, and takes in their utter lack of surprise. “ _Really?_ ”

“Oh yes, I've known for ages,” Yasha says in a flat voice. Jester bursts into giggles and claps her hands. 

“Wait, _wait_ ,” Beau says, a gleeful grin spreading across her face. “Quick, who won?” 

“Won—?” Fjord stares indignantly as multiple hands reach into pockets. “You all _bet_ on me?” 

“I bet that you’d figure it out easy-peasy, Fjord,” Jester offers, although the staunch support is somewhat undercut by how much money she is having to count out of her purse.

“In our defense, you made it really easy,” Nott says as she eagerly accepts a slightly suspicious, label-less bottle from Beau. Molly holds out his hand and wiggles his fingers at her until Nott, grumbling slightly, searches through her pockets and comes up with something shiny. It changes hands too quickly for Caleb to follow, but it doesn’t appear to just be gold. 

“That’s not a defense!” Fjord protests. “I should at least get a cut, damn it.”

He glowers as Nott, Beau, and Jester all hand various amounts of gold over to Caleb. Caleb collects it all and counts it, in his usual manner, as he puts it away. Not only does it satisfy the minor itch in his mind, but it’s also extremely entertaining to be in his position right now. 

Satisfied, he pockets his money. “We should probably get back to business,” he says, deliberately not answering Fjord. “Caduceus, perhaps we should retire inside? We have some catching-up to do, it would seem.”

As the Mighty Nein trickle into Caduceus’s home, Caleb feels Molly’s chin rest on his shoulder, carefully tilted as usual to keep his horns from stabbing him in the back of the head. “How’d you clean up?” he purrs, and Caleb feels the soft smack of a satisfied tail against his legs. 

Caleb turns his head and brushes a kiss against the tip of Molly’s nose. The tail taps happily against his legs some more. “Oh, plenty to buy some new paper and ink,” he says lightly. Molly’s nose wrinkles up, adorably offended. Caleb laughs and turns fully, so that he can pull Molly in by the waist and kiss him briefly on the lips. “And I think there might be enough left over for a very nice hotel room, far away from certain nosy friends we have, and maybe a date. That is, if you’ll indulge me, Mister Mollymauk?”

Molly beams at him. “You can most certainly have that date, Mister Caleb,” he says, and Caleb leans in for another celebratory kiss with his soulmate.


End file.
